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Just over a year ago I bought some land. On that land sat a home in the form of two mobile homes put together, as well as a pole barn and a couple of smaller buildings. I got a fantastic deal and I hope to have it paid off by spring of next year. Since we've moved here I have graduated college and moved on to my masters. My work flow has been steady and for the most part, my son and I are pretty healthy. Why am I not happy sometimes?

I've never liked mobile homes. This one is like an arts and crafts project, but in a kind of cool way. It's solid, but needs some "lipstick and rouge". In other words, it's perfect for me and I often refer to it at my huge arts and crafts project. Yet I find myself comparing it to other people's homes. Why? On the mornings I wake up and am thankful for everything and everyone I have in my life, I feel tons better than on the days when I skip over that part of my morning. The problem is that I often feel the judgement of other people...which isn't their problem, but mine alone. My resolution as I offer it to you for your own use is to look at it like I lay it out below.

  • Is my son happy and healthy? Yes.
  • Am I able to assist others as needed? Yes.
  • Are there people who love me unconditionally? Yes.
  • Do I have a safe roof over my head? Yes.
  • Can I maintain the temperature in my home, do I have all the appliances I need and is there food to eat? Yes.
  • Am I able to set and meet short term career/educational goals? Yes.
  • Am I able to set and see progress of long term goals? Yes.
Okay so that covers the basics, right? If I can answer yes to these things, I should have nothing to complain about. You see, my life is just as good as it should be and it is sometimes better than I feel I deserve. This is my path and mine alone to walk, so why compare it to anyone else's?

Just like everyone else, I have friends and family who have nicer things. They have a nicer house, or more toys...or whatever. My goal is not so much to have "nicer" but to have less stress, which means less debt. I'll have my home and land paid off at 40, so I don't think I'm doing too bad. Now if I can just remind myself of that on a regular basis.

You can't always do your best. Some days it just isn't in you, so you do the best you can for those days. I personally don't measure myself by a bank account and I honestly don't like people who do. My suggestion to myself and to you is that we get back to the basics of appreciating what we have available to us and appreciating the good that we are able to do with that. For instance, when I ask myself "do I have a safe roof over my head", I automatically compare that roof to everyone else's. Why? Last night we hung a new door on Hunter's room and it changed the whole view of the room and the hallway. I like the fact that my house is such that I am forced to appreciate those little things. I think if I can answer yes to those basic questions and I can see that there is continuous progress somewhere in my life, then I should just have the sense to ignore how other people think I should live and simply embrace the fact that I am living. I'm not simply existing to fulfill a work week or get more "stuff". I'm actually living...and it's going to get even better.


5 comments:

  1. Fantastic reminder to focus on what's important. I sometimes get obsessed by the crazy things going on in the world and feel powerless to change anything. I see people say hateful things, or hear about kids who are suffering, or animals that are abused... it makes me feel impotent because it's just so much...and then there are things like this, things that bring the focus back to bear. Thank you!

  1. I always felt second rate when we lived in a mobile home. I wanted a "real" home so badly. And weirdly, I felt guilty for not providing "better" for my kids. How oxymoronic is that??

    What you should feel is proud of yourself for making it work and not spending outside your means to do it! High five to parents raising kids simply and well!

  1. Kim...I've been avoiding FB in part because I have been busy and in part because there is so much on there that feels damaging to my heart and mind...humanity at its worst on an open forum.
    Mar...I feel that way sometimes too, but Hunter is awesome without even trying. Just last night he said "You know Mom, we actually have a pretty nice home" and that did my heart good to hear :)

  1. Thanks for this reminder, Kat. My husband and I try to live as simply as possible, without a concern about how we 'measure up.' We don't need the stress at this time in our lives!

  1. Langley...I don't think any of us ever need that stress and I'm trying to figure out why we put it on ourselves. In part I wonder if there is some secret competition to see who can rack up the most debt! lol

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