We lived with my grandparents and my grandmother went to mass regularly. If you have grown up or seen a Catholic household, just know that the majority of the decor and everything about it is all about Catholicism. Guilt is the go to guy.
At any rate, as an adult I lived with my grandfather and he eventually passed away. I was lost, scared, feeling like I was going out of my mind. To this day, other than my son, that man is still the most important person in my world.
I talked to friends. I cried, considered counseling, and finally, I turned to the church. Of course I had prayed, but I thought maybe they could offer some kind of other guidance. Yet, I was unsure and so I decided I wanted to know the source of this guidance before I embraced it. I headed to the church with
hope and questions in mind.
The priest checked me out the. entire. length. of. my. visit.
As if that wasn't warning enough...
I asked what made him decide to be a priest. He said he was raised to be a priest and had never considered anything else. He was supposed to be a priest.
Pardon me, but shouldn't your decision to lead people on their spiritual journey be about more than following the family line of business or some such shit?
And so I nodded my head and acknowledged this bit of ignorance if not blasphemy and said that while that might be the case, at some point during his adult years and training, surely there must have came a point when he was so completely moved by the nature of his training that there was no room left in his heart for doubt. The response below is what he gave me.
"You want to know what I learned in those classes? I learned about 100 different ways to kill flies. Those classes were boring...but I bet you didn't know there were that many ways to kill a fly."
I never went back in a Catholic church again.
When it comes to Christianity itself, that took a bit of research. That image at the top? That was taken from Facebook, a page called Oldin's Volk. I hate the cartoon guy, and I don't like the comment at the bottom of the picture, but the facts are true never the less.
Did a man named Jesus Christ live? I am sure he did. Is he the son of God? I'm sure he was ...in as much as we all are. Perhaps he carried more of the light than most of us do. Which bring me to the real "maker".
My belief today is that "God" is nothing more than the greatest source of energy that ever existed, the Big Bang Theory if you will, personalized. Mankind does much better when they can out face on the idol of worship. But energy is changeable in all its forms. When you worship a person, being, face...whatever, you are saying that energy can only be modified through them. And yet you will spend all of your own energy trying to take care of the details that result in the goal you sought.
I prefer, when I can calm myself enough to have the presence of mind to do so to simply assume that things are going to happen, and when I can do this, they happen without fail. Every. single. time.
I don't say Hail Mary's for forgiveness. I repent in my own heart for sharing any negative energy with this Universe.
I don't allow the word "God'' to be abused in my house because I know that the term itself means many different things to many different people. It is also much easier to say "God" than it is to say "the source of all energy for the Universe".
And by the way, take a good look at the image...I'll share it again below. When you do, please note that this is but a fraction of a list. A sun god is a sun god whether he or she has a face or not.