First off, I loved my Barbies. But I often wonder now what kind of a parent society sets a young girl up to believe she is ever going to be like that. Furthermore, why would you want a little girl to ever want a guy like Ken? He's a wuss. All he essentially does is decorate her arm when she lets him. He doesn't even get his own car, nor does he get to drive the pink Corvette. It's not even his initial on the townhouse!

Back to the point though...

As much as I loved my Barbies, I never had a Ken doll until a day or so after my mom died, when my dad went and bought me one. I was 8 and all of a sudden I was living with this woman I didn't know or like and was supposed to call her mom.

So I am this 8 year old kid, happily playing with Barbie and Ken in their apartment/the end table. I even had a Barbie bed covered with an afghan my grandmother made for me. One bed. One couple. You see where this is going? I didn't know what happened when a couple went to bed, but I did know the result. So Barbie and Ken go to bed.

Now remember, I am this totally logical child. I didn't even question when my grandmother died because she was old. My mother's death blew me away simply because a)kids' moms aren't supposed to die like that and b)she was young. Just a hint of how my brain works.

So when Barbie and Ken get up and realize she is pregnant, there is only one thing to do. See, I knew babies were "born" and I knew about adoption, but for either of those things to happen there had to be a baby Barbie doll. Guess what I didn't have.

Being the problem solver that I was, I came to the natural conclusion that Barbie had to have an abortion.

You think you're shocked? You should have seen the look on my dad's face, the guy who already had no idea what to do with these two daughters he suddenly had custody of. In the end I had to explain to him what I knew of the details of an abortion.

The moral of the story? If you are going to let your kids know about the realities of life, don't skimp on the details. You see, if I had known about a penis and vagina with my little 8 year analytic brain I would have come to the obvious conclusion that Barbie and Ken were both mutants and that would have explained a whole lot more about them!

And why did I think of this? Because it was only slightly less twisted than this photo that has been circulating Facebook. And there you have it...the twists and turns of a writer's mind.


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