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When you get down, do you find yourself judging everything you do, everything you are? Do you realize that none of us even have the intellectual ability to pass judgment on ourselves? We didn't create who we are. We just worked with the mold and tools we were given. To condemn yourself is to judge whoever made you...the universe, God, whatever name you refer to.

I thought about this as I was coming home from taking my son to school this morning. I get all bent out of shape, start feeling dramatic and the next thing you know I'm mentally telling myself that I suck at this or that. As it happens, I've had a day or two like that lately. What made me stop and think was the fact that I didn't say anything about feeling this way, and yet just by chance, a friend or a relative would let me know how they saw me or what I meant to them and their thoughts weren't even close to mine.

The point is, everyone who judges you has an agenda of their own., just as you have one. You feel guilty because you made a mistake somewhere along the long o your agenda is to punish yourself. Someone else appreciates something you did for them and they compliment you with the agenda of sharing their positive feelings.

Of course, the hardest judgement to take is your own, but the next hardest is when you get rejected by someone. As soon as that happens, we all run to the internal mirror looking for the final flaw that is at fault for the rejection. Take heart. The people who reject you aren't capable of appreciating you for whatever reason. Maybe they aren't ready to deal with someone like you or maybe something about you makes them take too close of a look at themselves. Whatever the case may be, it's not your problem.

Don't think of rejection as a failing point of yours. Think of it as a puzzle. The one that rejected you doesn't fit in the slot near you, and that's okay. It doesn't mean one single thing about you except that you just dodged the bullet by avoiding the arduous chore of trying to convince someone that you're "good enough" for them. This method doesn't just apply to personal relationships, but professional as well.

Me personally? The only place I put myself out there is my professional life. I'll be the first to admit that the hurts I've suffered in my own lifetime are not quite healed enough for me to take too much of a chance in my personal life. Admitting that is about as close as I'm ready to get to potential rejection by anyone that might matter.

4 comments:

  1. I am extremely hard on myself but very forgiving on everyone else.

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com

  1. I find self judgement to be way more punishing than anyone else would ever be to me. It's something I work on all the time to not be so self judgmental. Nice post!

  1. good post, with sound thoughts...

  1. I liked what you wrote about people who judge have their own agenda...I try not to be too hard on myself, but when it comes to parenting - I tend to question myself at times.

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