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One of the worst beatings I ever got as a child was the result of my laughter. I had a very abusive step-mother whom no one (including my own family) ever tried to stop. When one of my friends saw bruises on me when I was about 11, she demanded I called the police. But, I was afraid that my brother would suffer if I was removed from the home. When he got in trouble or when I was potty training him, he had to come out of the room crying or she would redouble her efforts. So, I would smack my leg and beg him to cry. I wondered what would happen if I wasn't there. After I expleained that to my friend she came up with the idea that I laugh instead of cry.

I thought she was nuts. Who's going to bust out laughing when the swinging belt sings through the air? But, I forced myself too and then a horrible thing happened; I couldn't stop. Seriously, I kept laughing until that belt made my legs bleed.

Today, I tend to laugh when I'm confronted or even while I'm venting about things that are happening in my life. Hey, it's better to have a bellyache from laughing instead of swollen eyes from crying and let's face it, neither action makes anything better, but laughing does make it more tolerable.

Now, I have a relative who has had me laughing for years. She lives in a house rent free because of me. She continuously makes up sickening lies and even her children have joined the parade. When her son snuck over here for a week and she didn't bother to check and see where he was, I was just happy to see the little guy and didn't turn him in. When he got caught trying to stay the night here and made up horrific lies to cover his own tracks, but made my own son look bad, I knew the time had come for me to step away.

When I go to the school to see my own son, this child makes a big production. He's even told a mother that I would steal him and he had to hide...yet he snuck over to my house within hours of making that statement.

I'm not laughing anymore. I don't expect a lot. But, I did let this person move in a house rent free, loaned her the money to get her utilities turned on, showed her how to make money online AND shelped her navigate her way through getting in school. For that, all I want is a simple "thanks" and then left the hell alone. Because now, as much as I have laughed, her teaching her child to hate may have an impact on my career as an educator.

I'm tired and I can't laugh any more. I simply can't DO any more. What is left? I know about teaching someone to fish. I gave the fish, taught her how to catch them herself and let her have my own safe place to do it from. It may be time to do something other than laugh things off.

5 comments:

  1. You have a huge heart, but you're right. Sometimes you have to step away, and hope you've made an impression that will make a difference in the future.

  1. It definitely sounds like it's time to stop helping this one--and to stop being quiet about her deceitful and abusive nature. People like that amaze me.

  1. Yep, step away and let her do it alone. Tough love may not cause much laughter, but one day, in the future, your laughter will be brighter and more frequent because you made the right choice now. A heartfelt post and I hope things get better for you.

  1. It sounds as though you have done more than enough for someone who isn't willing to step up and take over their own life. My all means, make the cut and make it severe. It is apparently time for this one to fish or cut bait by herself.

  1. I'm so sorry for what you went through - not fair! No child should be treated like that.

    But (and I speak as one who's been there, who still tries to "help" people) there are people who can't/don't want to be helped, and will never, ever give the thanks or even acknowledgment of our efforts we are seeking.

    We cannot control other people - what they think, say, or how they behave. Learning about co-dependency has helped me a lot to move away from always being the one to sacrifice myself for others. Peace and love to you, and hope you find your way out.

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