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Tonight I sit here with the sounds of Hunter snoring behind me. Rather than being a loud "omg there's a bear about to eat us" kind of snore (like mine), his is soft and rhythmic. It's even comforting.

Tonight, after Hunter said he wasn't a good son, I thought about where my life would be without him. And, the truth is, that it would be a lot different. Before Hunter, I always had some kids in my life that I cared deeply for. Some people like to have tons of pets. Some people serial date. I love kids.

 And, it seems that they love me as well, even though I know there are times when they aren't thrilled with me as I call them out or correct them. But, as I mentioned in my First Love post, real love isn't blind. It's accepting.

When I say my life would be different, I don't mean that it would be better. I wondered if I hadn't had any children, if I would be living it up as some high powered execuative somewhere in the concrete jungle. That didn't sit well in my brain even for a moment. It's just not me.

This post really has no point other than to remind me to look back at who I was before I was a mom, to remember all the children that have been in my life and to recognize how much life would suck without them.

So, to my oldest nephew, thanks for letting me spoil you when I had the chance.

To my next oldest nephew, oh for the love of God child, please don't ever install that social "off" button. I hope to hear you speak your mind always as you do right now.

To Kelly, you're a brat lol but I love you for it. You're the reason God never gave me a daughter. He knew I would have my hands full just borrowing one! You and Hunter both have a capacity for tenderness and loyalty that neither of you share with just anyone. Thanks for letting me have a glimpse and for being the best of friends to my little boy.

To my Hunterbear, son, you've always been a miracle to me. Life before you was empty. And, as vivid as my imagination is, I simply cannot imagine my life without you. You're the defender of the underdog and the fierce protector of all things furry.

In short, this is my version of being thankful for every child who has ever passed through my life. Tonight it's reallyjust that simple and I hope I'm not the only person who feels this way.

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