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I sit here in shock. I just realized how far I've come with my attitude. Of course, it hasn't been all rainbows and lollipops, but it hasn't been fire and brimstone either.

I had an argument with my son's father. It upset me, but far less than it would have a couple of years ago. That fact alone made me stop and think about how I've changed.

Years ago I was beyond stressed every time a bill came in. It didn't matter if I had a month to pay it. I stressed as soon as it got there. Then, when I became a single mother, the fear of failure gave way to the idea that I needed to pick my battles, to do my best and accept that it was my best. For a couple of years I would think back to that time and it would make me feel better about the present.

Fast forward a few more years...

One relationship and about 25 funerals later, I was a wreck. I didn't even want to answer the phone because every time I did it seemed like I was being informed of another death of a relative or friend. The end of a rather serious relationship wasn't doing me any good either.

That's when I decided to focus on the positive. I've actually always been pretty good about seeing the silver lining in most clouds. But, I was spending so much time thinking and worrying about the negative things, that I had completely forgotten how good it felt to think about the positive. That's when I found an inner peace that I do my best to hold onto. And..I take it very seriously. What's more, once I got into the positive groove, it seemed that those around me either followed or I carved out of my life.

It works like this for me:

I avoid negative statements. The brain really has to translate these anyhow. So, when I'm dieting I avoid thinking things like "I can't eat bread" because my brain only really gets that I mentioned something about eating bread, then it has to back up and assimilate the right message. What a waste of time!

Set measurable goals. Nothing make me feel like I'm on the right track like meeting my goals. Just putting a check mark next to something feels good. It also helps me to understand my limits.

Bask in the act of motherhood. Sometimes things just work out differently than I planned. When I'm on the bubble, I simply shrug it off and enjoy the best part of my life, being a mom. No matter how many mistakes I make, Hunter still loves me. He even helps me to laugh at myself. It feels good to just be me and to be loved for it. I have a natural love of children anyhow, so being a mom for me is the ultimate high point in my life.

Remember real happiness. When I get caught up in the stupid things that happen in life, I go back to the basics. I try different methods, but then I remember the one that always works. I spend simple time with Hunter. I really am happiest when I'm enjoying my time with him. For all the times that I may look around me in search of happiness, there are so many more when I have found it just by doing something like playing a game of chess with Hunter or messing around in the garden with him.

Happiness, positive vibes...these are the things that get put in the lost and found by us. We have no one else to blame because we put them there and there they will sit until we go get them once more.

2 comments:

  1. I love this. It gives me so much hope!! Inner peace is at the top of my list of things to strive for. I am working really hard on eliminating negative statements. Just today I realized how often I say "I'm so tired" and wondered how much harm I was doing myself.

  1. Happy attracts happy!

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