Student of Motherhood

The first question is probably "What is a single woman doing reading a marriage self-help book?", right? Wrong. A marriage is simply a lifelong promise of partnership, which means that aside from any sex techniques, a book that can help a marriage can help any relationship. I have zero social skills, so I'll take all the help I can get. If I happen to be able to apply that to a marriage sometime in the future, well okay then. I fully expected this book to be all bubbles and sunshine filled with the usual tidbits about open communication, pleasing your partner and so forth. I was wrong. The marriage self-help book makes you get active in your relationship. It's not just fluff and the same old same old. It gives you actual steps to take that allow you to see the relationship through the other person's eyes without any kind of confrontation or conversations that inevitably start with "But you always..." like so many marital arguments start. Hell, like to so many arguments start period. You don't have to be married to lack communication skills. Since I had already heard good things about this book, I wanted to see for myself. Now is the perfect time to do it since it's a bargain at only $0.99. I consider it under-priced since the methods used are actually very valuable and would be praised by any counselor. Written in an easy to understand tone, even people who are not avid readers can make use of this self-help book without having to struggle through the terminology.

First off, I loved my Barbies. But I often wonder now what kind of a parent society sets a young girl up to believe she is ever going to be like that. Furthermore, why would you want a little girl to ever want a guy like Ken? He's a wuss. All he essentially does is decorate her arm when she lets him. He doesn't even get his own car, nor does he get to drive the pink Corvette. It's not even his initial on the townhouse!

Back to the point though...

As much as I loved my Barbies, I never had a Ken doll until a day or so after my mom died, when my dad went and bought me one. I was 8 and all of a sudden I was living with this woman I didn't know or like and was supposed to call her mom.

So I am this 8 year old kid, happily playing with Barbie and Ken in their apartment/the end table. I even had a Barbie bed covered with an afghan my grandmother made for me. One bed. One couple. You see where this is going? I didn't know what happened when a couple went to bed, but I did know the result. So Barbie and Ken go to bed.

Now remember, I am this totally logical child. I didn't even question when my grandmother died because she was old. My mother's death blew me away simply because a)kids' moms aren't supposed to die like that and b)she was young. Just a hint of how my brain works.

So when Barbie and Ken get up and realize she is pregnant, there is only one thing to do. See, I knew babies were "born" and I knew about adoption, but for either of those things to happen there had to be a baby Barbie doll. Guess what I didn't have.

Being the problem solver that I was, I came to the natural conclusion that Barbie had to have an abortion.

You think you're shocked? You should have seen the look on my dad's face, the guy who already had no idea what to do with these two daughters he suddenly had custody of. In the end I had to explain to him what I knew of the details of an abortion.

The moral of the story? If you are going to let your kids know about the realities of life, don't skimp on the details. You see, if I had known about a penis and vagina with my little 8 year analytic brain I would have come to the obvious conclusion that Barbie and Ken were both mutants and that would have explained a whole lot more about them!

And why did I think of this? Because it was only slightly less twisted than this photo that has been circulating Facebook. And there you have it...the twists and turns of a writer's mind.

Every now and then I run across someone who is so impressive, they have to be written about. In the past I spent a lot of time being disgusted by the people I know who are just too lazy to work. When I meet someone who shows drive and ambition, it gives me hope for the future. So, let's meet "Tina".

My son was invited bowling the other night by my dad's wife. When we got there, she handed us Easter gifts in the form of really cool pens and pencils decorated as flowers. Hunter also got a wallet and his friend got a coin pouch. I was intrigued because the items were all made out of colorful duct tape. When she told me that the lady who made them was there, I wanted to meet her because I was being polite. (I couldn't buy anything because I already gave the boys all my cash on hand.) So, we walk over there and I am prepared to meet someone my aged. I stood waiting for herto show up at the table. It was then that I was introduced to "Tina".

"Tina" is a 13 year old girl. Why the quotes? Because I only know her name from her email address and she's a minor, so until her Mom says it's okay for me to post her full name, it won't be here.

I sit down to talk to Tina because I am totally impressed with her layout of earrings, pens, pencils, wallets, purses, magnets, and hand-made beads. Note: She makes all of these herself.

Curious, I begin to question her about her motivation and how she got started.

This 13 year old girl informs me without any sign of self-pity or depression, but with a kind of manner that one would use to discuss the weather, that she has cardio myopathy (which she immediately explains is an enlarged heart). I sense that I'm only one of many she has explained this to. Tina says that she has been doing this for two years simply because she can't plsy sports due to her condition, but she needed a hobby and it turned into selling the created products.

Say what? I know grown men who need to support a family and won't get a job because "that's too much like work" or they "aren't taking that kind of pay". Right, starvation and poverty are much better choices. And then there is a 13 year old girl who doesn't have to support anyone. Yet, she developed a hobby that she earns money for...and doesn't have to support anyone.

The best part of the whole conversation was about the earrings. She casually mentions how she was originally using a push pin to create the holes in the sea shells to put on the earrings, but then her dad introduced her to "this tool called a Dremel?" and she now uses that to create her holes.

A push pin? Yes, I'm pretty sure I had to pick my jaw up off the floor because the idea that this girl has the kind of motivation that requires her to use a push pin to drill a hole in a sea shell...well you just don't see that kind of motivation anymore and I am pretty sure she has no idea just what a profound statement that was for her to make.

For now she goes to craft shows and hangs out working on her goods in the Knox Bowling Alley on Thursday nights. She thought long and hard before giving me an email address to share here in case anyone wanted to make a purchase. Please, let her know how profound she is. If you don't buy anything, just drop her an email and let her know how significant this is in a world where so many look for the fast and easy route. Just click on "drop her an email".

Prices
Earrings: $5.00
Wallets: $2.00
Purse: not sure
Beads, magnets, and coin pouch: $1.00

Still can't get over the push pin...





These beads already have the mechanism to hang them as a pendant.